Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Why Men Need Playdates

I'm amazed with the sort of texts I receive on any given day. I'm underwhelmed by the kind my husband might get. For example, in the last two days, my girlfriends have texted me about new underwear, how much they love iced mochas, invitations to try on dresses, coffee dates, random comments about life, how much they love me, or about arranging various playdates with our children.

My husband? He maybe gets calls about when the minivan is ready from the autoshop. What men are texting him to celebrate new underwear or fantastic coffee drinks? I know he's busy working and, you know, fixing things, but doesn't he need to connect with guys? He does! He does!

This is why the women in my neighborhood intentionally arranged a playdate for all of our husbands: Friday Night Poker. Nobody knows the secret mysteries of this night, but we surmise it involves lots of laughter.

"We should do this more often," somebody said at the poker night. "If, that is, it's OK with everybody."

So this week they are playing pool. When my husband needed to call one of the guys to arrange the night, he had to use my cell phone to find the number, and I had to call and talk to the wife first, who then found her husband and handed him the phone.

I know not all men are like this. But I wonder if most wish they had a playdate this weekend. Most men have trouble, unlike women, inviting men alongside them as they live life. Women, on the other hand, invite other women into nearly everything (bathrooms, dressing rooms, our kitchens and living rooms).

Seeing the joy of those guys getting together for now regular playdates has been on my mind all day. Living with flair means I facilitate friendships between the men in my life. Surely, they need it. Surely, they love it. They may not talk about underwear (maybe they do), but at least they are talking. Living with flair means honoring the men in my life who don't have time to text all day about clothes or coffee. Maybe they would if they could. I think men need to have deep friendships, and for whatever reason (schedules, exhaustion, fear) they sometimes don't. My flair for the day is intentionally being the kind of person who encourages playdates for men in my life.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

:) .....so true. trevor definitely needs a playdate or two on his schedule--if only so i can feel less bad about leaving him to run off to all of mine; plus, perhaps it'll facilitate his understanding of why i value and long for my own girlie playdates so deeply. love you! miss you!

p.s. i'm so glad i can vicariously keep tabs on you through your blog ... and by seeing your gorgeous face on gray's woods videos at church ;)

Charity said...

Txt me! :)

Meg McGinty said...

You are so right. At work the girls were feeling bad because this dude has to sit there and listen to 3 girls talk girl-talk the whole time, but I consider him lucky. I think secretly all guys want to have girl-talk, but they can't because of gender roles. Glad your hubbie has man dates!

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Jennifer Dowlin-Kelly said...

Whoo hoo! Heather referred to me in the flair blog! I'm in the flair blog! (I'm the wife who handed her husband the phone!) I'm famous!
Arranging Man-dates is definitely a great thing. Kissy

Anonymous said...

They have something called cars and coffee here. They meet Saturday morning at the mall parking lot after stopping at Starbucks.